How much of your time is spent People Pleasing?
STOP – Live your life as your true self and STOP trying to please others
Wanting to please others – to be a people pleaser – is this your tendency? It certainly used to be mine. Even now, the thought of someone disliking me, feels very uncomfortable, yet I am really being asked to turn myself inside out to make myself acceptable to others?
I don’t think so
God only asks us to be ourselves, to be authentic and true to ourselves. This still means being kind to others and open to loving other people too, but alternately, He made you and I as unique beings. This means having full personalities in our own right and at the core, being a loving person that He wants to be with. Environment, family and circumstances have a way of shaping us, or colour us in some way, but it is possible to emerge from them, perhaps not unscathed but emerging like a butterfly with your personality intact.
Fear of being who we truly are, is a lie, which says, you are unacceptable if people truly know you. This is untrue because it is your real self, which is important, and important to God. True, not everyone will ‘get’ you, and not everyone will like you.
You were not put here on earth to be liked by everyone.
This can be a freeing thought – though it does come with a disclaimer too!
This doesn’t give us freedom to be obnoxious! Perhaps trying to be right all the time, such as telling others they are wrong as they don’t believe in the Bible – not wanting to win friends and influence people – it is about being comfortable with yourself.
What does your comfortable self look like?
- Are you an encourager?
- Are you compassionate?
- Do you care for others?
- Do you give your financially for the benefit of others?
- Have you time for others in your life?
- Are you hospitable and approachable?
- Do you speak in love, and consider the words that you use?
The list could go on… it is your attitude, spirit and heart which is important and others will find naturally likeable without you having to prove it by pleasing them and their agendas.
Those who don’t like you – well – did everyone like Jesus?
No matter what love He showed, the number of miracles He performed or knowledge He shared, those were many who wouldn’t believe it with their own eyes and ears. He was disliked intensely by the Pharisees and those whose hearts were hardened against Him.
Did Jesus try and convert people, but gave another argument for their lives, set examples and then gave it over to their conscience, hearts and free-will to make the choice.
Did Jesus try to win them over and to please them? No, if so, He would have had to deny that He was the Son of God.
So, where does this leave you? Can you live your life, noticing when you do something to ‘please’ someone else and change your Agenda so that it is done for love of the person rather than to try and get them to like you more?
It’s a challenge but worthwhile to try and get nearer to the person God created you to be – your authentic, likeable (and loveable) self.
God doesn’t ask you to please Him… good works will not earn you a place in His heart … you see you are already there.
P.s. here is a link to an interesting article by Shawn Akers about how likeable Jesus was or wasn’t
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?
Or am I trying to please people?
For if I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10. (NIV)
Let me know your people pleasing tendencies and we can pray together.
Watch the Broadcast with Ladey talking on this subject of People Pleasing v Revealing Your True Self.
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